When I needed you
you left me to my tears
when I needed you
you gave me a hard shoulder
each and every time I wondered why
all I needed was love
all I needed was a smile
instead I was staying strong
while you were crippling in front me
I thought it would be all ok
once I have the baby
no instead it was too late
the damage you caused has really scarred me
I don't trust you anymore
I told you so
Now I don't love you
no affection to give
except a hard shoulder
like the one you once gave me
I see you try to make things work
I pity you
yet I feel guilt
Maybe I should try
so here I am trying to try
making istakhara
don't want to be held accountable for you
when I needed you
you weren't their
I was just left their to my pain
feeling all alone
All I remember of those days
was nothing but sadness
At that time I thought I had it all
No I was deluded
I only convinced my self of that
only because I was alone
Now I am older
not so naive anymore
to bad for you
guess the damage is done
feels irreparable
guess I don't like you anymore
or maybe I never liked you so
Just a heart hard I feel towards you
so when I needed you the most
where you their for me ?
no instead you asked me
to be their for you
Wish I learnt then to turn to god
Wish I knew then not expect anything from anyone
Wish I had the will
Wish I was not such a crybaby
through pain
their is wisdom
Guess I should be happy
guess I should forget
I have forgiven you
I just don't trust you
I know your the same
because the other day
God made me sick
did you give me sympathy?
did you hug me ?
that's all I needed
no you were too worried about the vomit
instead had a go at me for breaking the lock
When I needed you
and when I need you
I only expect one thing
that is to be alone
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4 comments:
When couples lose affection, they soon lose all type of respect for one another. Resentment builds and you are left with a choice: to break or remain silent.
Change isn't easy, especially when the decision will affect more than one person, but remember, only you can make yourself happy. You need to decide if you want a happy or a miserable life. You need to decide if you want to be loved or unloved.
You know what hurts the most? When you are sick and they keep away you medicine to see you suffer.
Email me sometime.
organicmuslimah[at]gmail[dot]com
Change is hard , Inside I have made a decision , just really scared to go ahead with it .
thats very sweet of you , but I really do not understand it when email adresses are written that way . One time I tried to email someone like that , but it wouldn't work .
Happy New Year to you and your family,dear Sister :) May Allah bless you all with health, happiness, and ever increasing love and wisdom. Ameen.
Ya Haqq!
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