All I feel is peace

When I read your words
all I feel is peace
all I feel is peace

when I prostrate just for you
all I feel is peace
all I feel is peace

when I think of you
all I feel is peace
all I feel is peace

when I fill my heart with supplication
all I feel is peace
all I feel is peace

when I awoke from my slumber
all I felt was peace
all I felt was peace

Glory to you Allah

Glory to you Allah
Glory to you Allah

When you awoke me from my slumber
I felt so grateful to you
Even when I fell asleep
you chose to guide me
I realize now all I need is you

No matter where I may be
what situation I am in
all I need is you

Glory to you Allah
Glory to you Allah

so high in your majesty
owner of the worlds

how foolish I was
In abandoning your remembrance
when all I needed was you

all love comes from you
happiness is given by you
I only wronged myself no one else

Glory to you Allah
Glory to you Allah
so high in your majesty

I feel so embarrassed
I was so arrogant
I thought I had it all set out
I thought I understood

But then you awakened me
the awakening only humbled me
and made me fall on to my mat
asking for forgiveness


Alhamdullah!
Alhamdullah!
for the light you brought to me

Glory to Allah !
Glory to Allah !

the beloved
the all merciful
rivers of mercy flow in our lives
and yet we still sin

so

Alhamdullah !
Alhamdullah !

I am only in need of you.

Can I come ?

Can I come ?
can I come and fill my heart with your warmth of peace ?
can I come and stay forever where pain can not find me ?
can I come and allow the rain to wash and cleanse me ?
can I come and fill my mind with everlasting truth ?
can I come and clean every black dot that ruins the shine of my heart ?
can I come and fill my heart with your warmth of peace ?
can I come and stay forever here and be your permanent guest
where pain can never find me ?
where all I will see is the love Allah .
where I will be protected from all harm
just light upon light
peace upon peace

Before I even asked you

Before I had even asked you
you had already answered
before I even said your name
you were already their
knowing I was going to turn to you
such blessings you have put in my life
such beautiful steps you have left for me
all I have to do is follow your way
yet I fall down the steps
and your their waiting for me
ready to answer my plea
Before I even asked you
before I even began my dua
you had already answered
knowing I am in need of you .

When I needed you

When I needed you
you left me to my tears
when I needed you
you gave me a hard shoulder
each and every time I wondered why
all I needed was love
all I needed was a smile
instead I was staying strong
while you were crippling in front me
I thought it would be all ok
once I have the baby
no instead it was too late
the damage you caused has really scarred me
I don't trust you anymore
I told you so
Now I don't love you
no affection to give
except a hard shoulder
like the one you once gave me
I see you try to make things work
I pity you
yet I feel guilt
Maybe I should try
so here I am trying to try
making istakhara
don't want to be held accountable for you
when I needed you
you weren't their
I was just left their to my pain
feeling all alone
All I remember of those days
was nothing but sadness
At that time I thought I had it all
No I was deluded
I only convinced my self of that
only because I was alone
Now I am older
not so naive anymore
to bad for you
guess the damage is done
feels irreparable
guess I don't like you anymore
or maybe I never liked you so
Just a heart hard I feel towards you
so when I needed you the most
where you their for me ?
no instead you asked me
to be their for you
Wish I learnt then to turn to god
Wish I knew then not expect anything from anyone
Wish I had the will
Wish I was not such a crybaby
through pain
their is wisdom
Guess I should be happy
guess I should forget
I have forgiven you
I just don't trust you
I know your the same
because the other day
God made me sick
did you give me sympathy?
did you hug me ?
that's all I needed
no you were too worried about the vomit
instead had a go at me for breaking the lock

When I needed you
and when I need you
I only expect one thing
that is to be alone

because I am a muslim

I do what I do because I am a Muslim
I feel what I feel because I am a Muslim
I think what I think because I am a Muslim
I choose to be what I am because I am a Muslim
I make decisions based on my hereafter
why ?
because I am a Muslim
you wonder why I do not swear ?
you wonder why i do not retaliate to your nasty words?
you insult me
I choose not to
because I am a Muslim
I have the truth
so why do I need to behave lower then you ?
when I can convey my truth to you
it is
through the best of my actions
through the best of my words

seeking

I have begun to seek knowledge
the soil I seed my my seeds in
is that of firm of faith
the more I seek
the seed starts to grow
the roots is watered
with firm prayer
as I ask
as I seek
the more I receive
the more my mind grows
the more I have hope
that Islam is truth
the seed is growing
as I continue
I stay firm
I slip at times
but then I go back to water
the seeds with what I watered with them first
faith
prayer
and
conviction
eventually their will be Branch's
each branch representing
truth
each branch explaining that which is false
by Allah the tree will stand firm
watered with iman
watered with conviction

Submit to Allah

Submit to Allah
she said
I was holding the free handset
submit to Allah
she said
I heard
my brain was processing
her words
my heart was trying to gain comfort from it
submit to Allah
it rang through my head
cry and prostrate to him
submit to Allah
she said
such precious advice
I will take with me
wherever I may be
submit to Allah
is all I need

Allah

I skip , run
and jump
towards something I cannot see

I crawl ,slide
then walk
towards something that I yearn

I sing ,smile
and turn
each turn I yearn in hope

I pray , kneel
and prostrate
towards Allah that I need .

Oh men

Oh men you can say
whatever you like about us woman
But don't forget the womb that you were nurtured in

Oh men you can say
that woman's mind is deficient
But don't forget the woman that taught you to read an write

Oh men you can say
how much you are in charge of a woman
But don't forget who are the pedal movers in society

Oh men you can say
anything while you are breathing
you can control as much as you like
while you are still breathing
But don't forget
their will be a day of reckoning

you will have to answer to Allah
what did you do with your woman ?
what did you with that I entrusted you with ?

My character

I have made a vow to Allah
that I will work on my character till I die

I will struggle with it
I will climb the ladder
then fall
then pick myself up again
I may fall fifty times
in my attempts to perfect my character
but eventually
I will get to the end of the tunnel
for Allah loves who struggle
don't give up
I keep telling myself
don't stop caring about your character

Allah loves those who try to perfect it
clean it
wipe it
shine it
sparkle it
even the most unattractive faces
become beautiful with a shining character .

My imagination

I lay down and I imagine
Imagine myself
perfectly, beautifully happy

I walk through beautiful gardens
filling my eyes with the beauty of Allah's work

enchanted by serenity
enchanted by the beauty
each step I take in that garden

I feel nothing but salaam
I feel my eyes filled with pureness
I feel my limbs moving gently
not a single movement done in stress
only in peace .

All this I imagine only in my mind
it's my escapism
I know this is what it is like
in paradise
except far better .

I imagine feeling nothing
no fear
no worries
no anxiety
just peace humming through my soul

I imagine it's all OK
I imagine I'm strong
I imagine none of what is happening at this present time is happening

I keep holding to my imagination
of a bright light
I try walking towards the light
but I feel reality stands in my way
asking Allah
is this how its meant to be ?
is this the life ?
was I born in anxious state ?
subanallah
subanallah
subanallah
I leave that for you to contemplate .

Building bridges

I need to build a bridge with Allah
all those who want to be my friend is welcome
all those who don't like me
it wont effect me
I'm building my bridge with Allah
after that nothing will effect me

all those who want to use me
that's OK my reward is with Allah
all those who want to backbite me
why your so generous
I'm reaping all you good deeds !

If you abandon me
I don't care
If you stay
then I shall love you
either way it wont scratch me
for I am building the strongest of bridges
that shall never break
only if I choose to forget Allah .

'Let go'

Let go of your lust for they will only bring you down Let go of your wants for they will only make you miserable Let go of your ego for it will keep you far from the 'one' Let go of people for the feelings will always make you feel trapped Let go of everything except Allah .

My thought's

I walk around looking as if I am living I'm here physically spiritually I'm somewhere else I don't feel I'm here I feel I am in some other world am I deluded ? and everyone else isn't? what is this feeling that I feel ? I try to empty my mind from a huge bucket that sits by my side it seems to me the more I try to empty the more it fills with lots more wild thoughts that tangle one another people speak to me in black and white tones but I know its not like that cant they see all the different other colours ? people just give me this look of 'oh well I don't know what your talking about' I walk around looking as if I am living I'm here physically spiritually I'm somewhere else I observe people rather then judge them I snatch a piece of paper trying to empty that bucket again that likes to fill again and again if only my wild thoughts would untangle so I break free from my thoughts I walk around looking as if I am living I'm only here physically spiritually am somewhere else I feel I'm far, far away in some other world that world is my mind with Allah talking to him my wild thoughts untangling each one working it out like working out a maze placing each thought in the right order eventually I will get their figuring out exactly whats bothering my poor soul then I will take a break have a long sip from a sweet cup of tea BUT not getting deluded that it is officially over it will never be over not until I die only then only then will the fight with my thoughts be over .

Allah

Do not despair Allah does not love those who despair Do not get angry Allah loves those who bear with it Do not be sad Allah will always be their ready to sooth your heart Do not give up in his cause Allah loves those who keep on trying No matter how many failings Do not lose trust in the one Only the fool would do that .

I need

I need to make sajood otherwise forever I will be trapped in anxiety I need to make dua otherwise I will go insane I need you oh Allah otherwise I will wonder this earth meandering through life with no purpose You are indeed my light you are indeed my hope Oh Allah don't ever let go of my hand don't ever let go of me ....

follow up to ...so you want to change the world ?

It took me a while to finally grasp the concept that for big changes to happen small changes have to start . Its like trying to start to walk before you have even tried to crawl . Muslims these days try to change what goes on back home . politics and so on . that is never going to happen until you acknowledge that YOU have to change . Our homes are messed up yet were crying about whats going on in Palestine ....its because we are messed up that's why the world is the way it is . we have so many diseases in our community i cannot stress this anymore .
A friend told me how Rasool swa spent forty years working on his character, perfecting his character until actual revelation came to him . If the best of men worked on himself for that long then who are we to take such a matter lightly ?. It amazes me when Muslims say well 'am not the prophet' well then don't claim to be his follower . If you say you are aspiring to be like him then you better not come out with comments like that . know ones perfect changing oneself is a struggle.Success is sweeter when you worked hard for it . Change will only happen when we ourselves realize our character defects and actually want to change them . Islam is not appearance the inside is just as important if not more then the appearance . know one is going to enter jennah like that except only by the mercy of Allah .
As a final reminder it is obligation on us as Muslims to perfect our character you don't have a choice on the matter . It might take you a week to change one bad thing in you or might take you ten years , the point is you have to change . Good character is number one in Islam it is what will make family life better , community relations better and society a better ideal place to live in . The day we let go of our ego , the day when we say am sorry i was wrong may Allah forgive me . Is certainly the day when we will have positive change .

Trials

Allah's trials just keep on getting bigger Now the trial am going through is the hardest ever makes me scared what the next trial is going to be ? Oh Allah i know you are trying to teach me something Please let me figure it out so i can taste peace to be patient ? to leave ? that is the question Please let me figure it out so i can taste peace I'm getting tired i know i shouldn't complain if i don't complain to you then to whom can i complain ? My mind is running wild analysing each and every situation Scared of failing this trial Allah scared as hell iv failed trials before this I don't want to fail this one I hate regretting I'm tired of learning learning through pain please get me out of this molehill that i have dug so deep I feel like falling inside covering myself with whatever soil is their 'thou shall not exist anymore' The world is better off without me it doesn't need me with my dramatic 'drama' scenes of my life But off course that is haram Islam teaches you to face things rather then run away decisions have to be made whether their wrong or right you must deal with the consequences sadly that's life .

early 20's crisis

I'm 22 , i feel like am going through a mid life crisis . No am not am going through an early 20's crisis , when i turned 20 everything came well crashing down . my thoughts and feelings completely changed . i changed , i feel like well a new person . I don't feel the same am new .iv discovered myself my passions in life everything i should have done in my teens now i have to do it now . now i have big decisions to make inshallah may god make it the best one ameen . If these are the feelings am going through in my early 20's what am i going to have to deal with in my 30's ? who's to say I'm even going to live that long silly thinking about such things .