My imagination

I lay down and I imagine
Imagine myself
perfectly, beautifully happy

I walk through beautiful gardens
filling my eyes with the beauty of Allah's work

enchanted by serenity
enchanted by the beauty
each step I take in that garden

I feel nothing but salaam
I feel my eyes filled with pureness
I feel my limbs moving gently
not a single movement done in stress
only in peace .

All this I imagine only in my mind
it's my escapism
I know this is what it is like
in paradise
except far better .

I imagine feeling nothing
no fear
no worries
no anxiety
just peace humming through my soul

I imagine it's all OK
I imagine I'm strong
I imagine none of what is happening at this present time is happening

I keep holding to my imagination
of a bright light
I try walking towards the light
but I feel reality stands in my way
asking Allah
is this how its meant to be ?
is this the life ?
was I born in anxious state ?
subanallah
subanallah
subanallah
I leave that for you to contemplate .