Feeling totally suffocated. I HATE making big decisions but I have got myself in this mess yeah i keep like repeating that to myself erg. All today I skipped all my meals except breakfast and indulged in chocolate called 'heaven' by nestle ....after that hadn't anything to eat this is what I when I feel caged in and have lost all self control . whats my self control ? well as soon as I get to grips with myself I finally go and make sajood and ask Allah then calm down dramatically like someone has just drugged me with morphine .
I swear dua is such a drug for me it immediately calms me down and the energy around me is calm . Right feeling sick to the stomach I don't want to talk to no one . I suppose I feel repulsed by myself as to why I had to make so many stupid mistakes then when I do I let it get to me . Why ? I keep asking myself why? I just cant accept that I have made as mistake . These mistakes have so many consequences why ? .....Now I just want to give up on 'me' wishing someone would understand ....I'm going to stop whining
( not a good character trait I just needed to let out steam as to how I'm feeling right now )
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8 comments:
Huwal Qabid-o wa'l Basit (He is the Contractor and the Expander). All is from Him, the Exalted. Once we accept it we know things are not totally in our hands, that He is the one who prescribes and medicates us as He diagnose our maladies. My dear sister, you are not any exception either. Sometimes He deems it right at the right time to press our hearts between His two fingers, perhaps to remind us of His Presence, or maybe His caring for us!
By the way, thanks for reminding me of my going off Track so easily--I had to rewind the whole reel back to where I've got to linger on for a long while yet!!
i was passing by thought to leave ma marks....
things do get outa hand sometimes n yeh Dua is suppose to b a Muslim's strength....
http://adorahkhawab.wordpress.com
Imagine a little bird wanna start to fly. It is all risk when a bird tries to learn flight. A little mistake, can cause a very tragic death. That bird just has one chance to fly. Just once.
But you, as a human can make so many mistakes, and again you can try to fly.. At least no tragic death for you.. Isn't it?
your right shahrazad but I cant help the way I feel I feel so frightened of life decisions I really do I feel scared of life generealy now i know I shouldnt really be feeling like this its just a temporary phase im going through right now .
Well, regardless of whether the choice you make is right or wrong, you'll learn from the process :)
mistakes are a normal part of life. w/out them, how would you learn? i think you're too hard on yourself.
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