feeling caged in

Feeling totally suffocated. I HATE making big decisions but I have got myself in this mess yeah i keep like repeating that to myself erg. All today I skipped all my meals except breakfast and indulged in chocolate called 'heaven' by nestle ....after that hadn't anything to eat this is what I when I feel caged in and have lost all self control . whats my self control ? well as soon as I get to grips with myself I finally go and make sajood and ask Allah then calm down dramatically like someone has just drugged me with morphine .
I swear dua is such a drug for me it immediately calms me down and the energy around me is calm . Right feeling sick to the stomach I don't want to talk to no one . I suppose I feel repulsed by myself as to why I had to make so many stupid mistakes then when I do I let it get to me . Why ? I keep asking myself why? I just cant accept that I have made as mistake . These mistakes have so many consequences why ? .....Now I just want to give up on 'me' wishing someone would understand ....I'm going to stop whining
( not a good character trait I just needed to let out steam as to how I'm feeling right now )