Sinning

I know it is Satan that is inviting me
hissing away in my sad soul
I know it is you that makes me suffer
I know it is me that gives you power
I know how I CAN stop you
yet can not catch myself to stop you
In all the disappointments in my life
finally I realize
their will be more
just do not know from where
then you Satan will come back
trying to give me alternative of relief
then I know it is you inviting me
to what you disguise as peace
yet I know it is not peace
but coax my self in to accepting
knowing the consequence is sadness
followed by repentance
a battle of wars is going on within me
until I submit
then peace will descend on me
That will only happen
when I
refuse your invitation
Satan your only strong
when I give you strength
your only strong
when I accept your invite
Your like a drug
that sewed it self with in me
I let go off you for a few days
then your back again
only because I allowed you
only because I gave you permission
this is no ones fault
but mine
only I can stop sinning
only I can stop your whispers
when will I finally stop giving in ?
such a vicious circle I am in
tired inside of allowing you to do this
tired of giving you permission to make me suffer
the suffering I am in
is cause of my actions
so Allah help me stop
give me the strength to overcome my weaknesses

I wish

I wish I was satisfied
I wish I did not have to know about the suffering
I wish I understood why everything is the way it is
I wish these feelings would let me go
I wish I can bounce back from these feelings
I wish I can avoid a certain someone
I wish I can smile knowing it is genuine
I wish I knew how to be someone
but me
I wish I can just turn back to the light
I wish I can just except my situation
it seems the older I get
bigger the issues
I wish things do not have to be like this
I wish I can stop tormenting my mind like this
I want to stop sinning
but cannot seem to
I wish I can just stop wishing
I wish I can stop fantasing
and just submit back to reality

Tired

Feeling tired
Feeling lousy
Feeling drained
like the blood just got sucked out of me
need to close my eyes
My body is gasping for sleep
my mind is running wild
just needing to stop
wanting the thoughts to stop
need to close my eyes
need to close my eyes
take a break
take a break
lay on the bed
let the thoughts go
let my eyes close
falling
falling
deep in to another world
a world I wish I can stay in
a world I wish I can stay in

because I am a muslim

I do what I do because I am a Muslim
I feel what I feel because I am a Muslim
I think what I think because I am a Muslim
I choose to be what I am because I am a Muslim
I make decisions based on my hereafter
why ?
because I am a Muslim
you wonder why I do not swear ?
you wonder why i do not retaliate to your nasty words?
you insult me
I choose not to
because I am a Muslim
I have the truth
so why do I need to behave lower then you ?
when I can convey my truth to you
it is
through the best of my actions
through the best of my words