My thoughts

I have so many thoughts swimming around , that makes me want to write, for some reason I just don't know were to start . My thoughts are mixed with alot of mixed feelings and emotions that I realy cannot express. yesterday I read an article that I could not finish reading because I found it very distressing, It was about Abeer a 14 year old girl raped and killed in Iraq , I do not want to go in great detail about it , but I remember being told about the story before , I had wanted to cry then about it , then made myself forget , I just get very emotional and distressed about these things . I cannot accept that these things are happening and me well just sitting her doing nothing .
I keep day dreaming and thinking about what 'I' can do to contribute to the ummah ? one time I had a fleeting thought passed my mind , about opening a charity , helping rape victims , especialy in the middle east since such subjects are such a taboo over their . Or opening up counseling centre , marriage , child counseling ect ...I realy want to do something for the muslim commuinty , I see so much injustice , it just makes me extremely frustrated that I am not doing anything .
Then their is my other dream of learning my religion , we need female scholars ,that is not the only reason , it is because I want to understand my religion , especialy the science of hadeeth , quran and arabic. Ignorance is not bliss what you do not know will certainly harm you . knowledge brings peace to the soul , providid you do it for Allah .
yeah I have a lot of ambitions , but for some reason I dont think their unrealistic either , on the other hand I would not like to tell anyone as I feel they may look at me like ' are you on lala land ?' ....One thing for sure I cannot sit and not help the muslim commuinty , I defintly want to take up a counseling course , I always ask Allah to make me wise so that I am well perpared to be a good counseler inshallah .
The other reason , for me wanting more wisdom , is so that I can write short storys , that people can contemplate on and learn from . This life is such a strange thing , filled with so many complications , like a man taking up a second wife , and the first wife losing it , I just feel their must be a better way with dealing with a disliked situation ? . From observing people (I have noticed this even about myself by the way ), is that when one is encountared with a problem, people crack and run away from it , instead of dealing with the situation at hand , solving a problem not only helps one grow and mature , but it makes you feel afterwards that you are able to sort whatever 'obstacles' that you may encounter in the future. Problems are sweet why make them bitter ?
at times we fall , catch yourself , why stay falling when you can get up ? . Just the more I think about it , the more I think their is a secret to living peacefuly .....