My past actions

As I entered the green carpeted house after fours years
I finally had the courage to enter that door of the future
who knows what knocking on that door would bring me ?
perhaps happiness
perhaps sadness
only Allah knows
frankly speaking I didn't care I just knew this had to be done
regardless of the consequence
I brought this upon myself now I have to deal with it

one things for sure I just knew I had to take that first step
to break the ice with my parents
the thought of how they may react makes me feel sad
again it is your fault
but I cant spend the rest of my life saying
'what if?'

theirs many choices in life we make
sadly we have to bear the brunt of the consequences
I got myself into this mess and now I have to get myself out
No were to run
No way to wriggle myself out of this
it has to be done with honesty
straightforwardness
understanding

I can choose to run
for how long ?
I must take responsibility for my actions
its time for my reckoning with my parents
with my family as a whole
life's to short to let past actions haunt us

So I knocked on that door
and entered that green carpeted house for the first time in
four years
my sister let me in with a smile
she led me into the living room
I sat on the leather sofa
I looked around and saw pictures of my family
then I saw a school picture of me
I was surprised to see my school photo up their
with the rest of my other siblings
it was practically the only thing in the house
that suggested that 'I' once lived their

a realization took over me
I realized this is just the beginning of a long journey
to heal broken wounds
that I cut so deep

this is just the beginning of a long journey
that I have know idea were its going to end
I pray it has a happy ending
I hope it will be a happy ending