All I feel is peace

When I read your words
all I feel is peace
all I feel is peace

when I prostrate just for you
all I feel is peace
all I feel is peace

when I think of you
all I feel is peace
all I feel is peace

when I fill my heart with supplication
all I feel is peace
all I feel is peace

when I awoke from my slumber
all I felt was peace
all I felt was peace

Glory to you Allah

Glory to you Allah
Glory to you Allah

When you awoke me from my slumber
I felt so grateful to you
Even when I fell asleep
you chose to guide me
I realize now all I need is you

No matter where I may be
what situation I am in
all I need is you

Glory to you Allah
Glory to you Allah

so high in your majesty
owner of the worlds

how foolish I was
In abandoning your remembrance
when all I needed was you

all love comes from you
happiness is given by you
I only wronged myself no one else

Glory to you Allah
Glory to you Allah
so high in your majesty

I feel so embarrassed
I was so arrogant
I thought I had it all set out
I thought I understood

But then you awakened me
the awakening only humbled me
and made me fall on to my mat
asking for forgiveness


Alhamdullah!
Alhamdullah!
for the light you brought to me

Glory to Allah !
Glory to Allah !

the beloved
the all merciful
rivers of mercy flow in our lives
and yet we still sin

so

Alhamdullah !
Alhamdullah !

I am only in need of you.

Can I come ?

Can I come ?
can I come and fill my heart with your warmth of peace ?
can I come and stay forever where pain can not find me ?
can I come and allow the rain to wash and cleanse me ?
can I come and fill my mind with everlasting truth ?
can I come and clean every black dot that ruins the shine of my heart ?
can I come and fill my heart with your warmth of peace ?
can I come and stay forever here and be your permanent guest
where pain can never find me ?
where all I will see is the love Allah .
where I will be protected from all harm
just light upon light
peace upon peace

Before I even asked you

Before I had even asked you
you had already answered
before I even said your name
you were already their
knowing I was going to turn to you
such blessings you have put in my life
such beautiful steps you have left for me
all I have to do is follow your way
yet I fall down the steps
and your their waiting for me
ready to answer my plea
Before I even asked you
before I even began my dua
you had already answered
knowing I am in need of you .

When I needed you

When I needed you
you left me to my tears
when I needed you
you gave me a hard shoulder
each and every time I wondered why
all I needed was love
all I needed was a smile
instead I was staying strong
while you were crippling in front me
I thought it would be all ok
once I have the baby
no instead it was too late
the damage you caused has really scarred me
I don't trust you anymore
I told you so
Now I don't love you
no affection to give
except a hard shoulder
like the one you once gave me
I see you try to make things work
I pity you
yet I feel guilt
Maybe I should try
so here I am trying to try
making istakhara
don't want to be held accountable for you
when I needed you
you weren't their
I was just left their to my pain
feeling all alone
All I remember of those days
was nothing but sadness
At that time I thought I had it all
No I was deluded
I only convinced my self of that
only because I was alone
Now I am older
not so naive anymore
to bad for you
guess the damage is done
feels irreparable
guess I don't like you anymore
or maybe I never liked you so
Just a heart hard I feel towards you
so when I needed you the most
where you their for me ?
no instead you asked me
to be their for you
Wish I learnt then to turn to god
Wish I knew then not expect anything from anyone
Wish I had the will
Wish I was not such a crybaby
through pain
their is wisdom
Guess I should be happy
guess I should forget
I have forgiven you
I just don't trust you
I know your the same
because the other day
God made me sick
did you give me sympathy?
did you hug me ?
that's all I needed
no you were too worried about the vomit
instead had a go at me for breaking the lock

When I needed you
and when I need you
I only expect one thing
that is to be alone

If I could

If I could
I would
lay in the sand
with my eyes closed
and allow my body to soak the heat
not caring that I will get darker

If I could
I would
sniff lavender all day
allowing the feeling to take over my mind

If I could
I would
Run through a naturist site
taking in the beauty
capturing it in my mind

If I could
I would
spend a whole day
not thinking
not caring
just laughing
So that all you could see
was my white teeth

If I could
I would
sit with a group of people
say nothing
do nothing
just allow my ears to take in the wisdom

If I could
I would
take back every wrong I ever did
I would do the things I intended to do
I would kiss my mothers feet
and promise never to say a bad word to her

If I could
I would
wipe every negative memory
I have
hiding away in the cupboard with the lost key

If I could
I would
open a canteen just for those who need
I would vow to make sure
every one of them that left
left with a smile

Sinning

I know it is Satan that is inviting me
hissing away in my sad soul
I know it is you that makes me suffer
I know it is me that gives you power
I know how I CAN stop you
yet can not catch myself to stop you
In all the disappointments in my life
finally I realize
their will be more
just do not know from where
then you Satan will come back
trying to give me alternative of relief
then I know it is you inviting me
to what you disguise as peace
yet I know it is not peace
but coax my self in to accepting
knowing the consequence is sadness
followed by repentance
a battle of wars is going on within me
until I submit
then peace will descend on me
That will only happen
when I
refuse your invitation
Satan your only strong
when I give you strength
your only strong
when I accept your invite
Your like a drug
that sewed it self with in me
I let go off you for a few days
then your back again
only because I allowed you
only because I gave you permission
this is no ones fault
but mine
only I can stop sinning
only I can stop your whispers
when will I finally stop giving in ?
such a vicious circle I am in
tired inside of allowing you to do this
tired of giving you permission to make me suffer
the suffering I am in
is cause of my actions
so Allah help me stop
give me the strength to overcome my weaknesses