yeah I know another post on death ...today I just can't help it I keep thinking about it daily , i'm frightened of it and I feel tired of the thought why am i frightened of it ? well I keep thinking about what am I to do if I die and Allah is not happy with me ? no matter how much I do just does not seem enough ( it will never be enough even if I become the greatest alima in the world ) I know I will always fear death thats why I keep asking Allah to judge me by his mercy . Well actualy beg for mercy each and every day .
S o I ask myself ? why all of this thought about death wel again my age ..it's not like I'm but I seriouse am scared of getting older not because of looking older more well more I don't think I want to see anymore life and people and issues . I am such an idealist I wish everything was ideal . I keep thinking what is wrong with me that I have to be so abnormal ?
can't I just be like other woman ? shallow it's so much easyier then being a deep thinker . Then I think no , if I was shallow then i would never be able to hold myself accountable . I wouldn't care about what really matters about life . I would get upset over the most silly things like 'oh i wish I can have that ' . Constantly materialistic thats not life .
Death something I would not stop contemplating . My decisions in my life are based around death ..is this good for my death? if not leave it .
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6 comments:
Dont live with death, but know that Death is always standing next to You, such a good friend. And You go together, walkng into Light..
i went thru a period in my 20s where i thought about death a lot. i think it's normal to question and wonder about things in life and death. i believe in life after death though... in the spirit world.
when i read your posts, i think that God didn't make our lives to worry so much. you should not worry about sinning all the time. you sound like a good hearted person that knows right from wrong, you should live your life in happiness and not worry about always making God upset and such.
i don't believe in organized religion... but i'm very spiritual. i believe God made us in his likeness and that there are tests in our lives... it's our decision what path we take, what decisions we make and such.
i think you worry too much about judgment and if God will be angry w/ you. I went thru that when I was young myself - w/ church. I don't believe you will go to hell if you don't do your duas and such. God wants us to come to him.... when in need and for help, for love. You are doing these things.
Live your life my dear... it goes by fast. You are by far from superficial or materialistic. But even ppl like that will go into Heaven if they believe w/ their soul.
hey umm naief thanks for dropping by I was actualy hoping to see what your next post is but been so busy.....I know I am to hard on myself but I want to make i make the right decision I have made far to many mistakes in my life i dont want to make another ...hope this phase will pass inshallah
is difficult to be perfect... to look for perfection, you could easily lose yourself.
ppl make mistakes. that's why we're human. from reading your other posts... sounds like your going thru shame and having a hard time believing in yourself.
why not try letting go of blaming yourself. i believe even the holiest have bad days.... you will too. you might have a bad year... but that doesn't mean if you pray hard enough or long enough that it won't happen again.
be happy... and don't blame yourself for a mistake you made... especially if someone else is counting on you.
Salaam Dear Poetic Sister:
Here is some Toltec wisdom on death and the Last Judgment:
The Last Judgment is when you judge yourself for the last time. From that moment forward your life begins brand new. You will no longer see yourself or the world the same way. You no longer look to see if someone is right or wrong, or to be right or wrong. Your mind is once again child like in its purity. The way it was before it learned to judge itself with ideas of being bad or good.
Childlike does not mean being innocent. We have garnered too much experience for that. It does mean that we are wise. Wisdom is in that field beyond the knowledge of right and wrong. In that field the heart flourishes because it is not busy with being right or afraid of being wrong. Wisdom is the awareness that love and compassion are the only righteous answers. Wisdom is the field where Rumi stands waiting for us, beyond right and wrong.
On the practical side, when we go to deal with our inner voice of judgment, we find that it can be a tricky force. To stop our judgments we must be come aware of them in order to change them. As soon as we notice ourselves in judgment, we tell ourselves we shouldn’t do that. And what do you know, our inner judge has judged us for our judgments. The inner judge then just might go further and judge ourselves for judging ourselves for our judgments. The inner judge, as ridiculous as it is, can stack these up until we forget how it started.
Ya Haqq!
Wisdom is the field where Rumi stands waiting for us, beyond right and wrong.
why rumi ? why not allah ?
On the practical side, when we go to deal with our inner voice of judgment, we find that it can be a tricky force. To stop our judgments we must be come aware of them in order to change them. As soon as we notice ourselves in judgment, we tell ourselves we shouldn’t do that. And what do you know, our inner judge has judged us for our judgments. The inner judge then just might go further and judge ourselves for judging ourselves for our judgments. The inner judge, as ridiculous as it is, can stack these up until we forget how it started.
why should we not judge ourselves ? judge ourselves before allah judges us is that not right ?
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